Mourning

I'm sure by now everyone has heard about the VA Tech shootings. I've found myself oddly mesmerized by this story. I want to know more and more. Why, why do such things happen in this world of ours? I was on my way to work this morning, and I have about 30 minutes of easy driving which I use to pray. I was thinking on this event and started praying, "Come, Lord Jesus, Come." Take us away. It's too much. This world is too terrible. I have a child now. This could some day happen to my child. It happend to 32 mother's children. I could not bear it. How can they bear it? And as I was asking God to come and take us away, rescue us, I heard something else. No. You are here for a reason. Your job is to make the world better, brighter, kinder. Love. You need to love. You need to show your love. Stop being so self absorbed. Stop being so inner focused. Share. Care. And my prayer changed. My prayer changed to Show me. Show me how to share. Help me care. People need our help. I'm so self absorbed, I forget to care. It's hard for me to share. Lord, help me help others.

Futility

Most of you know that cleaning isn't my forte. I can't say that I hate it. And before, when questioned about my cleaning issues, I really didn't have a good answer for why I don't clean more often. Because, there really aren't too many things better than a clean, sparkly, good smelling home. But as I was vacuuming the other day, I think it dawned on me... I hate cleaning because it is an entirely futile exercise. The second I put the vacuum cleaner away, I could easily find hair all over the floor. The minute I dump out the mop water, some creature will walk across my white (white?? who makes a kitchen floor white??) kitchen floor and leave behind their footprints. Nothing lasts. Not even for a couple minutes. I believe if I could clean and have it look nice for a week, or even a couple days, I might not loathe it so much. But when your hard worked hours are ruined in minutes? What's the point?? It might as well just stay dirty. With two dogs, a cat, a baby and a neat-challenged husband, it's just too much of an up hill battle. I had come to terms with my dirt before N. arrived, but when she started crawling and rolling all over the floors, it was just gross. She's be covered in dog hair. Her knees and socks would be brown. So, lately I've been fighting the battle a little more intensely, and it's a little better, but I'm still not sure it's worth the effort. I can't wait until she starts walking so I can go back to my old ways...

Go Gators!

Normally, I hate teams from Florida. They tend to represent everything that is wrong with collegiate athletics nowadays, where classes are a farce and the players get away with murder (almost literally.) But Monday night saw me rooting for the Gators? Why? Well, its the office poll, of course. This was my first year participating. I had refused the past 6 because, well, isn't that sort of gambling? I've never been one to toss money around with out care. For me parting with money is like parting with teeth... I fight it. Generosity has never been one of my strengths. And gambling is just like throwing money away. But the poll was only $5.00 and I thought it would make the tourney more interesting for me. I don't know if it was beginners luck, or what, but I ended up coming in second and scoring some cash. I beat the a lot of guys and I've been trying not to gloat. If you want to know how I did it, I'll tell you... in almost every case, I just chose the higher seeded team. I had a few upsets and was good going with Georgetown, but really, I rarely strayed from the higher seeds. And when it got to the championship, well, let's just say the only thing I hate worse than a Gator is a Buckeye...