Sleeping and Weaning

This will fall under the category of parenting entries. I don't have categories set up because that would just be too much organization for me. A while back I had put up an entry about how N. was addicted to breastfeeding and was still sleeping with us. Well, we have made some progress in both of those arenas. I eliminated one of her five feedings a while ago, and elimated another one a couple weeks ago, so now we are on an early morning, before nap and before bed nursing routine. It's working pretty well for us, and I'm not sure when I will drop that middle feeding. I now only have to pump once at work during lunch, so I don't feel the need to rush out the last three feedings. M. wants me to be done nursing, though, and I'm not really sure why. N. is happy and I am happy to continue, so I don't know what the big rush is. Besides, it appears to be keeping other annoying monthly visitors away, and I'm more than happy for that to continue. What's the rush?? Anyone out there continue nursing well into the first year?
The sleep thing is just plain weird. One night, about 2 weeks ago, N. fell into a deep sleep after nursing and I put her in her crib and she slept most of the night. So, we just kept doing it. The fourth night, she ended up crying herself to sleep, but it only took about 10 minutes. Ever since, I try to put her down asleep, but she always wakes up, cries for a couple minutes and then goes to sleep. Which is fine, I guess, but she also wakes up several times throughout the night crying. I guess I would just like to find the secret to a baby who likes to sleep in their own bed. I would like to not have to feel badly that my precious baby is unhappy and crying in her bed. It just makes me sad. Does she know I'm right down the hall? Is she scared? Does she know where she is, etc? So, I guess you can say that in a way, we're tackling the sleep issue, but just not very happily...

On "The Will of God"

I intended to shoot out an email to "the Nine" on the subject of "The Will of God." (please note, imagine hearing the phrase "The Will of God" in a deep southern old fat man's voice and you'll get my drift.) And, for those unfamiliar, "the Nine" being a group of wonderfully wise and lovely ladies that I attended college with.
So, that aside, this whole "will of God" thing is really driving me crazy lately. A lot of weird stuff has been going on in my life lately that's really caused me to be deeply frustrated by the concept of "the will of God" for our lives, our days, our minutes, our decisions, etc. I've seen some people very close to me believe that they are doing the will of God and to be twarted in every step. What does this mean? Does this mean it wasn't the will of God? Does that mean that they misunderstood what they believed to be the will of God? If you are a beleiver and you feel strongly that God has given you direction and that direction does not work out, how do you take that? How, then, do you ever trust yourself again to know whether you are hearing the voice of God showing you His will.
On top of this, why in the world does God make it so difficult to understand what His will for our lives is? And where did this concept come from anyway? Is it rooted in Scripture, or did we humans, in our incessant need to "know" the future, plan and prepare, just make up the whole concept. Because it seems to me that if were so important to be doing "the will of God," in your life, He wouldn't make it so difficult to discover.
Because, here I am on the brink of 30, possibly about 1/3 of my way through life, God-willing, (pun intended), and I really don't know what I'm "called" to do or what "God's will" is for my life. And as I see some older people struggling with this same concept at 50, I'm just frustrated by the whole issue.
I think the root of the question is how involved is God? This is similiar to an entry I read on Greg's blog about the weather and what not. Does God care about what shirt I choose in the morning? Probably not. Does he care if it rains or if there's sun? Not according to Greg. Does he care if I decide to move across the country? I honestly don't know. How involved is God in our daily decisions? How big does a choice have to be before you get the Creator of the World involved?
Thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated...

Happy, Happy Birthday, Baby!

Please excuse the absence. I realize I haven't posted in a while. Life is just so busy... and to think I was harrassing Kate about her ever present Christmas tree...

Well, it's been a year. A full year. It's hard to imagine how quickly a year can go by when you're watching your child grow and blossom in front of you. I spent part of the day Sunday watching all the little snippets of movies I've taken of N. over the past year. I can't believe how small she was just a scant year ago. I can't believe how it took her months to figure out how to roll over, and now she's gone from pulling up to standing to crusing to almost walking in just a few weeks. It's like their ability to learn new things grows exponentially.

It's been a great first year. There were some ups and downs as we've gotten to know each other. Some hard times when I was working full time and didn't feel like I was being a mother at all. Some great times of watching her learn and cuddling with her and smelling her sweet baby breath. I really don't think there is anything better in life than a small little human asleep on your chest.

And of course, I think she's beautiful and smart and funny and talented. I mean, who isn't enamored with the way your own baby says, "ba ba ba ma da ba?" It's all gone so fast and I want to cherish every moment. It's hard to explain to anyone who isn't a parent how much love you can have for a little human.

So, my non Irish, St. Paddy's Day baby is One. Amazing.