11 months

My computer situation is all screwed up today, so I can't post a picture. But yesterday marked C.'s 11th month. I am so torn about how I feel about my little boy growing up. It's so fun to watch him as he cruises around, trying so hard to walk, holding his chubby hands up because he wants to be held ALL THE TIME. His cute little cuddles, his horrible sleep habits, his avid nursing. In short, he is a momma's boy through and through. So, he's still very much a baby, but in 30 days, he will suddenly become a toddler! What? It's been a year since I pushed 9 lbs 12 ounces into this world in 20 minutes? Seems impossible. And I'm sad, in a lot of ways. Because some of these milestones will be the last time I watch one of my own children learn to ...
Pending any accidents or acts of God, we are not planning on having any more children. Most of the time, I am okay with this. While I loved being pregnant, and call me crazy, even giving birth, I think that it's just right for our family just to have two children. Sometimes I'm bummed that N. will not have a sister and will not have a relationship like I do with a sister, but I know lots of women who only had brothers and they seem okay. But then every once in a while I look at C. and how giant he is (around 30 lbs) and realize I will never hold my own little baby curled to my chest again. I'll never see my own child learn to crawl. I'll never get to see that funny face when you feed them something new. So, I'm delighting in all of his new skills, but there is a hint of sadness that did not accompany them when N. was learning. Sigh, such is life. Now, I must get to work on planning a birthday party. Not my forte!

Three

Wow, over a month since my last entry. I am so awful at this. Thanks to those of you who still check back periodically!

I want to discuss three year olds. N. is almost 3 1/2. I am really struggling with this age. I don't know how much of it is related to the fact that I'm also trying to take care of a baby, but I find her so frustrating.

This is what's aggravating:

1) the whining... dear lord the whining

2) extreme opinions on what she's going to wear, eat, do, etc. that result in freak outs if she's told no.

3) super independence - wanting to do everything by herself, even when she's not capabale, and... freak outs when some one helps her

4) alternately, wanting to pretend to be the "baby" - she gets a pacifier and pretends to cry and wants to be held. I was okay with this for a while, assuming that obviously this is a reaction to not being the baby anymore, but it is so annoying after 2 minutes.

5) constantly interferring with C. If C's standing, she'll knock him over. If he's crawling, she'll try to pick him up, if he's lying down she tries to flip him over. I believe I have uttered the words, "JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE" at various decibal levels several thousand times.

6) Not listening. I tell her to do something and she ambles along, often getting distracted by something else and 5 minutes later she still hasn't - gotten her shoes on, brushed her teeth, went to the bathroom, etc.

7) Throwing back one liners at me that I say to her all the time: Don't talk to me like that, Don't argue with me, That's rude!

Sigh. I feel badly because I'm not sure if I'm approaching all this correctly. Clearly, we have to set some boundries and make is known what kind of behavior is acceptable and what is not. At the same time, I feel like I am CONSTANTLY correcting her, and truth be told, yelling. Who knew I'd be a yeller?

Of course all of this is tempered by the adorable stories. The other day she was out on the porch and I told her she can't go outside unless she asks me first. Her response was, "But I was looking for Jesus." And all the "I love you, Mommy"'s. And all the hugs and kisses.

It's so worth it, and I just hope I'm doing it right... If you've had a 3 year old and have some tips, I'd love to hear them!