A birth story

September 24, 2008

Dear Caleb David,

Well, you have a name, so that means that you are here and are a boy! Despite the fact that it was 50/50 that you would be a boy, I was pretty surprised. I think the fact that I already have a girl just caused me to assume that you would be a girl too. So, here’s the story of how you came into this crazy world:

Thursday morning, your daddy got up to go to work, and I turned over in bed and I thought my water broke. It was a good amount of liquid and I couldn’t imagine what else it could be. I never had any “leakage” of anything with your big sister. So, we called the midwives and we got an appointment to come in. However, I was not having any contractions at this point. But I got super excited that I thought you would be coming soon and we got all the bags packed and dropped your big sister off with Mimi and headed down. We stopped and had breakfast and then went to our appointment. I was very disappointed to hear that it was not my water that broke, but probably just more mucus plug. I actually started crying in the exam room because I was so anxious to get you out and I was just so tired of being pregnant. So, home we went and daddy wasted a day off and we were all just sort of bummed out and annoyed. I was definitely irritable. We went to bed a little late and I woke up around 1 in the morning with some contractions. They weren’t super strong, but they were strong enough to wake me up. They were coming every 15 minutes or so. After trying to sleep for a while, I got up and started timing them. I got your daddy up at 3 am. They got as close as 5 minutes apart and I really thought I was going into labor now. I called the midwife at 4 in the morning. She advised me to try to get some more rest. When we laid back down, they slowed down to 15 to 20 minutes again. We got up around 6 and I basically timed contractions all day long and your daddy stayed home again, but we still had no real labor. All day long they remained 10 to 15 minutes apart and not extremely intense. We went down to the center to get checked and I was still less than 2 cm dilated. I couldn’t believe it! So we left and your daddy and I made a plan. We were going to stop thinking about the contractions. We were going to go out to dinner and enjoy some time together, pick up your big sister and spend some time with her. Then we were going to drop her off at her Babcia’s house, rent a movie and relax. Well, you know what they say about the best laid plans…
During dinner, I definitely had some contractions that I had to concentrate through. But I did not time then and tried to ignore them. We picked Nadia up and headed down to Marcin’s mom’s house. We stopped and got the movie. This whole time, I’m having noticeable contractions, but I’m refusing to look at the time. We spent some time at his mom’s house, but I was getting pretty uncomfortable and not in my “comfort zone,” so I wanted to get out of there. On the way home, I told Marcin that I thought we should skip the movie and just try to get some rest. I think we got home around 8 and tried to lay down. But the contractions were now getting significant and every 7 minutes. Given the whole day and the two false trips I’d already taken to the center, we were determined to wait until they were 4 minutes apart before doing anything else. By 9, I simply couldn’t lay down anymore. They were just too intense and I was needing to vocalize through them. Your daddy was doing an excellent job of giving me messages and putting pressure in other places to distract my attention from my uterus. I started to feel a lot of pressure and was trying to go to the bathroom so as to avoid any messiness while pushing you. Your dad decided it might be a good idea to put a towel on the bed, and literally on the next contraction, my water broke. It was a little after 10. I got to the toilet and the rest of my water came out. Marcin called the midwife and she told us to come right in. I didn’t even talk to her, but she probably heard me vocalizing through the contractions anyway. It was suddenly incredibly intense. I thought I needed to vomit, but I didn’t. The contractions seemed almost constant, but I did have enough time in between to get dressed and get into the car. It’s quite ironic that this was the exact situation that I had been trying to avoid… going through transition in the truck. But here we were, two and ½ years later in the exact same situation of driving down town while my contractions were every two minutes with very little time in between. I did all the classic, “Why am I doing this?” and other things you say when you’re in the middle of transition. Daddy called both grandmas. My mom said she would meet us down there. It was a very painful ride through pretty significant traffic at 11 pm on a Friday night. I did even think to myself how odd it was that so many people where out, dressed in their clubbing clothes to party for the night and I’m coming down in my husband’s t shirt, no bra, and disposable diapers asking God to help me through every second because I thought I was going to lose my mind. Weird that I could even have that thought at the time. I specifically remember one girl’s sequined strapless shirt. Anyway, there was no where to park near the center, so your daddy just jumped the curb and parked on the side walk. There was no way I was walking several blocks in that condition. Your daddy got me in there and I just landed on the bed sideways and didn’t want to move. The midwife checked me and I was 9 ½ cm dilated. One more contraction and I was a 10 and started pushing immediately. After just a couple pushes, they could already see the head. I reached down and could feel a bit of your head. I was trying very carefully to listen to the midwife’s instructions of when to blow and not push so to minimize any tearing. With Nadia, I had been pushing so long I just didn’t care, but this time, since it had only been 15 minutes or so, I really tried to follow the instructions. I couldn’t believe how soon your head was born. Again, there was a little trouble with your shoulders, but nothing like with Nadia. But I certainly did have to push your shoulders out. Then, there you were. Right up onto my belly, all blue and squishy. They rubbed you a bit and you started crying. Oh, I was so happy to see you and to be done with all that labor! Then we turned you over to see what you were. A Boy! I really couldn’t believe it. We had a boy! My mom and sister arrived sometime around then, right after you were born. They hadn’t even clamped your cord yet. I was trying to get the placenta out and I handed you over to your dad. Again, I had to push pretty hard to get that placenta out and again, I had some trailing membranes. Not as bad as with Nadia, but still not the ideal. The midwife had to “tease” them out, which is not a fun experience. After than I needed two small stitches. Then I could hold you again and try to get you to nurse. You were born at 11:35 and you had APGARs of 8 and 9. They weighed you in at 9 lbs 12 oz and 22 inches long. You were certainly a big boy! We finally got all situated in bed and slept for a while, getting our temps and BP checked periodically. Around 9 in the morning, your daddy went to go get your big sister so that she could meet you. Nadia did very well meeting you for the first time and seemed to be quite well informed about you. I was very happy that we’d spent so much time talking about you and reading books about being a big sister. We were able to leave the center around 1 pm and your Babcia was there to meet you. She also took Nadia back home with her so that your daddy and I, as well as you, could get some more much needed sleep. It had been quite an exhausting 24 hours. But so worth it. I am so happy to meet you, little one and am looking forward to figuring out how to mother a boy-child. There are already some differences… what do you do that with that penis??? J But I love you so much. Thanks for coming here and choosing me as your mother. I hope I can be the mother that you need and deserve.

Love you,

Mommy