Trapped in a glass tower
I know a lot of women complain about being trapped under a glass ceiling. And it's definitely true. Women are still underpaid. And I would argue that they are underpaid, despite working harder than most of their higher paid male counterparts. Apparently, there's just something about having a penis. But that is a discussion for another time.
What I'm frustrated with is being trapped in this glass tower. I mentioned before that I'm working full time and hating it. But what I hate more is this American culture that makes Materialism the highest religion and sucks you in despite your true convictions. I grew up in a home where we struggled to make ends meet on occasion and did without a lot of "things," but my mother was always there for us. She came to all of our recitals or sporting events and usually remembered to pick us up from various practices. We always ate a full family dinner, complete with salad, every night. I never did a load of laundry until I went to college. Now, she didn't do everything for us, we were responsible for cleaning our own rooms and various other duties around the house, but my mom was just always there for us. Growing up, I always knew that I would want to stay home with my kids, at least until they went to school.
So... what happened? Why am I sitting at this desk, in this nice office, attached to a breast pump, writing gobbly gook on the internet, looking out of my glass tower window, when I would much rather be at home, breastfeeding and being a mom?? There are many excuses I could make... N. wasn't exactly planned, we've had some plain bad luck, my husband is addicted to buying and selling cars, etc. But the bottom line is that we got ourselves into an impossible financial position. Granted, we're working on getting out, but I look back and wonder what the heck we were thinking with some of our decisions. I know hind sight is 20/20, but seriously, the pull of this materialist culture is STRONG. You have to guard against it so carefully. It's so easy to look around and see what other people have and develop a "need" complex. I NEED an SUV, I NEED a nice house, I NEED cable TV, I NEED cell phones, I NEED to go out to eat once or twice a week, the list could go on and on.
And then you think and you pray and you remember what people in third world countries survive on and you realize you need to slap yourself upside the head for being so ungrateful. We are so blessed in the country. It's just that mixed in with the blessing is a bit of a curse, if you don't keep on yourself. It reminds me of another of my favorite lyrics from an Over the Rhine song, "This American dream can be dangerous." It's so dangerous, I have to sit in this glass tower just to pay for it.
What I'm frustrated with is being trapped in this glass tower. I mentioned before that I'm working full time and hating it. But what I hate more is this American culture that makes Materialism the highest religion and sucks you in despite your true convictions. I grew up in a home where we struggled to make ends meet on occasion and did without a lot of "things," but my mother was always there for us. She came to all of our recitals or sporting events and usually remembered to pick us up from various practices. We always ate a full family dinner, complete with salad, every night. I never did a load of laundry until I went to college. Now, she didn't do everything for us, we were responsible for cleaning our own rooms and various other duties around the house, but my mom was just always there for us. Growing up, I always knew that I would want to stay home with my kids, at least until they went to school.
So... what happened? Why am I sitting at this desk, in this nice office, attached to a breast pump, writing gobbly gook on the internet, looking out of my glass tower window, when I would much rather be at home, breastfeeding and being a mom?? There are many excuses I could make... N. wasn't exactly planned, we've had some plain bad luck, my husband is addicted to buying and selling cars, etc. But the bottom line is that we got ourselves into an impossible financial position. Granted, we're working on getting out, but I look back and wonder what the heck we were thinking with some of our decisions. I know hind sight is 20/20, but seriously, the pull of this materialist culture is STRONG. You have to guard against it so carefully. It's so easy to look around and see what other people have and develop a "need" complex. I NEED an SUV, I NEED a nice house, I NEED cable TV, I NEED cell phones, I NEED to go out to eat once or twice a week, the list could go on and on.
And then you think and you pray and you remember what people in third world countries survive on and you realize you need to slap yourself upside the head for being so ungrateful. We are so blessed in the country. It's just that mixed in with the blessing is a bit of a curse, if you don't keep on yourself. It reminds me of another of my favorite lyrics from an Over the Rhine song, "This American dream can be dangerous." It's so dangerous, I have to sit in this glass tower just to pay for it.
posted by Erin at 6:04 AM
4 Comments:
Erin, I hope you don't get sick of me adding comments! Anyway - I would suggest the book "An Irrestistible Revolution" by Shane Claiborne. It's a compelling read, and while you might not go the extreme route that he's taken, it's still convicting and challenging...
megs,
i love your comments! please keep them coming. Is this a financial planning book?
erin
no - it's a book about Christianity and social justice and america and materialism...It might help as you struggle with the pull of material trappings....You might not agree with all he says and does but I think you'll agree with the main idea of it.
To add my comments too, like Megan said and what I find so important communication outside of a toddler is important to me. Onto Materialism, I have lived the past three years of my marriage not knowing from one month to the next if we would have enough money for groceries. I know that materialism is hard to get around but I have not had the opportunity to become materialistic. When we shopped for a new car we said we wanted an SUV seven seater with 4 wheel drive and we ended up with a minivan. Instead of buying above what we could afford we downgraded. I am not saying all this to condem you Erin I am just saying that I have struggled for years on the other end of the spectrum so I am not exactly sure there is a happy medium. The only true place we can find contentment is in Christ right, not that I know how to get there how about you?
Post a Comment
<< Home