Autumn upon us

I'm a little sad this year that it's September. I ususally greet fall with a great deal of enthusiasm. Fall has been my favorite time of year for a very long time. Fall means sweaters and jeans and football and leaves and apples and cider and hay and pumpkins. And did I mention football? I love all of those things. But this year, I feel like I wasted the summer. I didn't get out there enough. I didn't go swimming with my daughter enough. I didn't enjoy long, warm nights outside enough. I didn't tend the garden enough. I didn't take advantage of a mostly mild summer as much as I should have. So, I'm a little sad that it's over and it is time to move on to fall activities. Much of it has to do with my current living situation. I think I've spent a lot of time huddled around a laptop waiting for emails that I could have spend enjoying the great outdoors. Sigh. Three and a half months into this and it just sucks. Oddly, I've grown somewhat used to it, but lately, I've been having unexpected crying jags and periods of melancholy that I'd somehow escaped earlier. We've decided the end is near. We are making some radical plans, but it will work out. It always does. Do you ever look back at a situation that you thought was really impossible and with the passage of time you realize it was not such a big deal in the grand scheme of things? I've had that happen a lot and I'm trying to learn from it. This too shall pass.
My other source of meloncholy is related to my grandmother on my dad's side being put into a home because of her Alzheimer's. This makes me really, very sad. It is a sadness that I can't quite explain because it is not as if I have been or ever was super close to my grandmother. She's had a hard life and she's a rather bitter woman now, but she was always nice to me. i have many fond childhood memories of her. I just feel very badly that she'll be locked up in a home by herself. She is still aware enough to know who people are and I feel that she will take the transition very badly and become even more bitter towards my dad and aunt for making this decision. I am afraid that people, including myself, will get busy with their own lives and just forget about her. And the worst of it is that, to my knowledge, she does not know Jesus. I fear that putting her in the place will dramatically enhance her disease and her mind will be too far gone to be able to make that decision. Alzheimer's is a really terrible disease. I don't know if it runs in any one else's family who reads this. But if it does, I would really encourage you to read up on the disease, the warning signs, and how to fight it, because it is incredibly horrible to see someone whose body is still very healthy, but there mind is just disappearing. They become a shell of a human.
I really had no intention of writing about that, but it just came out. Sorry for the downer...